A person owns his/her body July 7, 2009
Posted by A in Morality, Politics, Religion, Society.Tags: assisted suicide, owning your body, selling body parts
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I think most people would agree with that statement.
However, let’s dig deeper into what that means.
*People should be able to commit suicide.* By that, I don’t mean that there shouldn’t be suicide prevention or intervetions, especially since most people who commit suicide are depressed. However, if a person is mentally healthy and has a terminal illness, it should be up to that person to determine if, when, where, and how to end his or her life. Doctors should not be prohibited from offering the last relief to terminal patients. Of course, there are those who will always cheat, regardless of regulations, try to find a way to cheat so fears about elderly being killed for their money by family members. And, as if that’s not happening now. I don’t believe that those instances will increase. Or that doctors will refuse to treat older patients because they’ll advocate assisted suicide.
*People should be able to sell their body parts.* If a person can donate a kidney, why should that person not be able to sell it, and benefit from it as well? Regulating this to some degree will be more beneficial than forcing people, who can afford to, to go to 3d world countries and buy parts from poor people there? Don’t pretend it’s not happening. It is, and it’s dangerous because we have better medical care here. Why not allow people here to do that legally? People rent wombs, which is a surrogate pregnancy and those women are compensated. Why not be compensated for selling a kidney or part of your liver? And if a person wants to sell both kidneys, knowing that it’s fatal, it’s still his/her choice. Why not be able to provide for his/her family in the mean time?
*People should be able to earn an income legally through sex.* This is certainly not a “moral” statement, but if you really think about it, if you really own your body, you should be able to earn a living by any means (without hurting anyone). If you feel that your calling in life is to be a prostitute (male or female), you should be able to do that legally. If you truly own your body, you should be able to decide how you use it.
*Abortion should be legal, in all cases.* Again, not a “morality” statement, just a logical next step from agreeing that people own their bodies. A woman is a living, breathing, existing human being and should be in charge of her life and her body. If she decides that having a child is not something she wants to do, it should be completely legal for her to have an abortion. The life of a potential human being (an embryo until it’s born at which point it becomes a baby) should never be superior to the life of an existing human being, the woman. Of course I’m not talking about a stable family where the father is in the picture. He should definitely have input in that case, but ultimately, it’s the woman’s choice.
I understand that these opinions are not necessarily popular. These are also not necessarily socially approved. However, these are the logical conclusions, at least as I see them. I belive that a person should own his/her body and that neither government nor “society” should have claim on it.
What do I look for… June 30, 2009
Posted by A in Dating, Life, Relationships, Society.Tags: Dating, Life, men, Relationships
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I’ve been asked many times what I look for in a guy. First and foremost, I look for him to be a man, not just a “guy” or “boy”.
It really boils down to only a few things that I look for: the man has to be confident in himself; has to be a mensch, and has to have a great laugh/smile.
On the surface, this seems like it would be pretty easy for me to find a man who is of my religion, is confident, and has a great laugh. But then I have to explain what I mean by all those things.
First, to me confident doesn’t mean that the man is showing off in any way. If you’re truly confident, you don’t care what others think about you, but you are aware of what they think. Because you’re also not a social idiot, you are aware of social norms and know the time and place when it’s OK to deviate from them. Going to a formal wedding in shorts and a polo shirt is not a time or place to flaunt social norms, no matter how confident you are; it’s just plain rude. A confident man isn’t rude. Also, by confident, I mean quietly confident. Not brutish, rude, patronizing, demeaning, condescending or anything of the sort. Those demonstrate your lack of confidence, not the presence of it.
Secondly, what does it mean (to me) to be a mensch? It means that you are reliable, trustworthy, honest, honorable, polite, gentlemanly, respectful, you pull your own weight, you do the right thing, you do what needs to be done, you spend wisely, your friends respect you/ask for your advice, and you are someone I would be proud of. You are someone your kids should be proud of, someone they would look up to. This is one of the hardest things to find in today’s males; to me, this is what separates the boys/guys from men.
Notice that up to now, I haven’t mentioned appearance. I find confidence to be very sexy. But so is a great smile and a great laugh. It’s amazing to walk into a room and find a man with a great laugh telling a joke and laughing. The whole room is infected with laughter and everyone is happier. Of course, there’s a certain charisma/charm that goes with it. When was the last time you truly had a great laugh? Wouldn’t you like to laugh like that, to feel that light and alive more often? I know I do. As far as physical attributes, the man would have to be taller (and hopefully wider) than me. [Yes, I feel self-conscious if I think the guy is thinner than I am.] But finding someone taller than me hasn’t really been a problem in the past. It’s all the other things that are truly hard to find.
Of course, I could go on and on (maybe in another post) about what I’m looking for, but I think these are at the top of my list.
It’s been a while… June 26, 2009
Posted by A in Life.add a comment
Turns out that people actually noticed that I stopped posting here. I didn’t think anyone would notice, especially since my highest daily visitor total was 9. So, I shall start posting here more.
One thing I certainly want to post on here is my latest gardening attempt. This year, I actually went to a garden store and bought some flowers and went to afarm to get some herbs and veggies. But that post will be coming soon. Hopefully.
Dealing with it April 27, 2009
Posted by A in Life, Relationships.Tags: Life, Relationships
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I was in a slightly awkward situation today. Awkward just for me. I was in a room with a guy who looked so much like someone I had very deep feelings for. The guys could have been brothers (but they’re not related). I know that a year ago I would not have been able to concentrate on the task at hand and participate in the meeting. Today, I was just startled when he walked into the room. Just a momentary question in my mind – “what’s he doing here, he doesn’t work here”. But then I realized it’s the look-alike. And all was fine. I want to believe that if I ran across this other guy, the actual guy I had those feelings for, I’d be able to handle it like an adult, to pretend like nothing happened and socialize if need be, or say “hello” and move along if that’s an option.
I guess things like this happen when we don’t get answers or the “closure” everyone seems to be talking about. But there’s always closure, just maybe no explanations. And explanations is what I really like; I like knowing and it drives me positively mad not knowing. The “what if”s and “maybe”s keep me wrapped inside my mind for a long time. Then, one day, it’s less. And the next week, it might be less. Eventually, I move on. But I still want answers, fully realizing I’ll never have them. Oh well. It’s life. And I’m dealing with it.
Girls’ Day at the Art Museum March 15, 2009
Posted by A in Art, Entertainment, Friends, Hobbies, Life, Western Civilization.Tags: Art, Friends, jan lievens
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I’ve been wanting to check out the museum’s new exhibit for quite some time, and today I went with 2 of my girl friends. The exhibit was displaying Jan Lievens’ work. I’ve seen other painings in this style (by van Dyck, Rembrandt, and Rubens) so I knew I’d like the artwork at least to some degree. I have to say I liked it quite a bit.
To me, this is art. It was beautiful, it required quite a bit of skill as well as tallent and training. The people in the paintings seems to be alive, like they’d just walk off the frame and shake your hand. The eyes in the portraits look alive and intelligent. The objects in still life paintings (Stil life with books – this one was my favorite, I think) look so real you can touch them. That pitcher, the highlights, and the books. The books look so real that I can almost smell the dust and the leather of the binding. You can almost feel the grime on the musical instrument that’s in the background.
I was completely shocked at how he depicted cloth. In one painting, Profile of an old woman, the gauzy head covering is stunningly painted. You can see how the organza folds and the shimmer and gold highlights. In another painting, he shows his mastery by painting silk in such a way that makes it glow.
We took our time at the exhibit and walked through it slowly, savoring the experience.
After this, we deicded to visit the rest of the museum and see what’s there. I haven’t been to the museum for a few years, so it was nice to see what else they had. I didn’t enjoy the rest of the museum as I enjoyed the Lievens’ exhibit. Let’s just say that my idea of art and many people’s idea of art varies wildly. Some things look more like an engineering braintease yet others are just canvases colored in a single color, and some are just like something a first-grader could paint. I don’t know what it’s supposed to make me think other than I could have done the same and gotten paid a lot of money. It doesn’t inspire me, it doesn’t make me think, it doesn’t uplift, and it looks like it takes no skill whatsoever. If you painted a wall at any point in your life, you could have painted some of the things on the walls of the museum. But to some it’s art. To me, it’s not.
Agency Date #9 March 3, 2009
Posted by A in Dating, Life, Relationships, Society.Tags: Life, Society, Dating, dating service
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Ok, this is the last date I went on and it was yesterday. The guy was OK. At least he showed up on time and had clean clothes (mind you, the clothes weren’t ironed). But I had the feeling that none of us wanted to be there. I certainly didn’t, and he yawned enough to make me think he’d rather be elsewhere. The agency told me his age was in the mid-30s. I think they made a mistake; he looked to be a lot closer to 40 than they indicated. And that’s not really a big issue.
There was absolutely no chemistry, nothing interesting to talk about, just blah. I have met some interesting people, some whose comments and questions challange you in a completely conversational and non-confrontational manner. Those conversations are exciting and envigorating. The conversation with this guy…. I felt like I was half-asleep; it was quite boring. And I have to admit, I was exhausted. But I didn’t want to reschedule since this date was alredy rescheduled from a different day. The guy probably thought I was completely boring too. Which is fine. I don’t care what he thinks of me since I won’t see him again.
Oh well.
I’m finding it increasingly more difficult to be optimistic about dating. Did I mention that dating sucks and that I hate it?
Agency Date #8 March 2, 2009
Posted by A in Dating, Life, Random, Relationships.Tags: Life, Dating, Relationships, dating service
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UGH! I HATE DRIVING IN CHICAGO!!!!!!!
I was set to be 15 minutes early, but instead, ended up being 30 minutes late! I hate it. I called the restaurant a few times to tell him that I was stuck in traffic. And the thing is, I was stuck on the OFF RAMP! Seriously! Then, the street I needed was closed. UGH! And the GPS kept taking me in ever-widening concentric circles. I couldn’t find this restaurant the agency claims is really easy to find. Also, I asked them to pick a place closer to me, so I wouldn’t have to drive for 2 hours each way. What do they do? Find a place that’s 1 exit, that’s right, 1 exit closer!!
So I finally get there. The restaurant was incredibly loud and busy, so I could hardly hear what the guy was saying. The guy was nice enough, I suppose. But I was too distracted by a facial tick. I have a weird dislike of mouth twitches which is why I can’t stand to watch Brad Pitt. Part of the time the guy’s left side of the mouth was still, almost paralyzed, and at other times, it was moving just fine and the other side of the mouth was “paralyzed”. Very distracting.
The other thing that was a little awkward is that the guy was just too tall. I’m short (about 5 foot tall), and I’m gonna guess that the guy was about 6′4. Normally, a tall guy is not a problem; most of my friends are around 6 foot tall, and one of my former dance instructors was about that height. I almost feel comfortable with someone that tall, but this guy was just too tall.
Other than the mouth twitch and height, I can’t say that there was anything wrong with the guy. Just nothing in common, no chemistry.
Voices March 1, 2009
Posted by A in Friends, Life, Random.Tags: sounding similar, voices
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No, I don’t mean “voices” in the imaginary sense, or hearing something in my head. I mean actual voices. When was the last time you thought about someone’s voice. Today, I was speaking with someone I haven’t spoken to in at least 3 years, maybe more. What struck me was how much he sounded like his brother. Same style/manner of speaking, same intonation, and very similar voices. At first, I was really surprised and thought I was speaking with the other brother, but it was soon apparent that I wasn’t.
The other thing that made me think about this more is because I was chatting with my friend the other day and realized how much she sounded like her mother. The way she pronounces certain words in uncanny.
I wonder if my sister and I sounds as similar. I know sometimes our relatives can’t tell us apart the first few seconds, but what about others? Hmm….
Agency Date #7 February 27, 2009
Posted by A in Dating, Life, Random, Relationships, Society.Tags: Dating, dating service, Life, Society
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Actually, I was pleasantly surprised. The guy was confident, positive, happy/content, well-traveled, interesting, educated, pleasant looking, he has a good job (he can support himself), and he could carry on a conversation. Of course, the agency had to screw things up. Here are the 2 major ways they managed to do that:
1. They told me the wrong age for the guy, he ended up being 13 years older than I am, and that’s a little creepy to me. Not to say that it can’t work for someone else.
2. He isn’t interested in having more kids. That’s a deal breaker for me. But it makes sense given his age and that his oldest daughter is 20, which makes her closer to my age than him. That too is creepy.
DAMN! Oh well, hopefully the agency will get it right soon, though I’m not holding my breath.
Birthday February 27, 2009
Posted by A in Friends, Life, Relationships, Society, self.Tags: birthday, Friends, Society
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As kids, we look forward to birthdays with great anticipation. As adults, many of us dread turning another year older. Usually, I dread my birthday and it’s not because I wish for the alternative.
Last year, my birthday was really hard on me. Not because I am now in a different age bracket or started a new decade of my life. It was hard because I thought I’d be much farther along in life than I am. I just naturally assumed that by a certain age, my life would look a certain way. Well, it doesn’t. I feel like I’m “behind” where I should be, and before you ask who determines the “where should you be” – I determine that.
Another reason I dread my birthday is I don’t really want to celebrate it. I want to celebrate achievement. Thank God we live in a time when reaching adulthood is no longer an achievement worth celebrating. It’s not like I’m over 100, though that would certainly be a number worth celebrating. Thank God (and modern medicine, living conditions, and progress on too many fronts to mention) that my age is no longer considered “old age” or even close to it.
Now, when I say I don’t want to celebrate it, I mean *I* don’t want to make a big fuss about. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want others to make a big fuss about it. I know, I know, silly. But true. Don’t get me wrong, I love my birthday, and I do look forward to it, though no longer with the anticipation and excitement I had as a child. Even something as small as getting a phone call from those who are important to me, makes the day great.
Does any of that make sense to anyone else?
