Another Birthday… February 27, 2010
Posted by A in Life, Random, self.Tags: birthday
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Another birthday is coming up. I generally get a bit depressed around my birthday. Mainly ’cause nothing changed since the last one and because I still feel like I’m behind on life. But to be honest, the birthday that gave me the most trouble was my 25th. I mean, it was a quarter-century mark and what did I have to show for it? An unhappy marriage, no kids, I was layed off from a job I hated… and that was at the beginning of my 25th year. As that year drew to a close, there was more turmoil; my then husband lost his job and I couldn’t find any employment. Which meant I was getting really depressed. I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think, and couldn’t stop thinking about where my life wasn’t going.
Subsequent birthdays saw a divorce, a graduation (master’s degree), several changes of address, heart break, and soul-crushing loneliness.
And besides, I have’nt gotten to the point where my friends make a big fuss over my birthday. I mean, they should like me, right? Shouldn’t they want to celebrate with me, take me out for a drink, a cup of tea, or even just spend some time with me? Granted, most of them live a bit away. But they’re all bright, educated people who can plan.
Maybe I’m just a sucky friend. That would certainly explain it.
And I still feel behind in life. What do I have to show for my 30-some years? Some of my friends see me as a success. And by many standards I am; I am blessed with a job, being able to pay my bills, having my own place to call home, being able to travel and indulge a bit in my hobbies. But I want more. I have a certain vision of my life and where I am is not it. And what am I doing to get there? Nothing. I wanted to be a travel writer ’cause I love to travel but as you can see, my writing just sucks. A food writer, ’cause I love to cook and eat and think food is the glue that holds humanity together. But again… this writing thing…. I love photography and the only person who likes my photos is my grandma, bless her. Other family members (and friends) are just polite to tell me that they like my photos for I barrage them with links to my experiments with the camera.
Oh well. Another birthday coming. What unpleasantness is in store for me this year? I’m tired of that. But it never ends.
And life goes on…
Seriously, you have got to cheer up. You are an awesome person, and you need a lesson in seeing how full of wonderful and amazing things this world is. Look around you. The world is full of beauty and wonder. You just have to find it. I love learning about the world, the plants, the animals, the past, the geology. Some folks are really into stars. Space isn’t my thing, but more power to those for whom it is. I love science because every day, there is something new being discovered. The world is always revealing its secrets and beauty. One of my favorite sites is sciencedaily.com.
I have a friend who is obsessed with earthquakes. She tracks them and monitors faults and attempts to find patterns in their activity. She’s even got some pretty cool theories, and I love talking with her about earthquakes. She’s not a seismologist, but she’s passionate. That is what counts.
My sister breeds cats. She spends her time and energy learning all there is to know about cat genetics and keeps learning more about it. She even went to Thailand to get one. I mean, who goes to Thailand to get a cat?! But she did, and she had a great time doing it. Renee’s had some amazing travels just because of this one obsession.
Ethan loves caves, so he goes caving and even cave diving. he’s even gone to Mexico to explore the cenotes there. These are water-filled caves on the Yucatan Peninsula the maybe formed when the asteroid struck that killed the dinosaurs.
My friends don’t call me up and take me out for drinks on my birthday either.
So I invite them out and give them cake. Sometimes, you just have to make things happen.
So, I give you a challenge. You have 364 days to complete it. Find something that makes you squeal with excitement. Find what floats your boat, and let it float your boat. It can be anything at all, even something you already do. But I want you to become obsessed. Now, there are a couple of cavaets here.
One: it absolutely cannot be anything depressing. Some people do have depressing interests, but the point of this challenge is to cheer you up and make you look at life in a brighter, happier way.
Two: it cannot start out expensive. We don’t want any barriers to entry here. So you cannot decide to become obsessed with Mazaratis and then give up because you cannot afford one. Ethan started with free caves in Wisconsin.
Three: Now listen up closely. It does not matter if anybody thinks your obsession is stupid. It’s your life, not theirs. Yes, people think Renee is off her rocker, but they don’t have to live her life, she does.
Four: It does not have to ever make money to count as your obsession. All that’s required is that the subject holds your interest.
Good luck! And I will be checking on you.
Lynn
PS: I like your photos, and I’m not your grandmother