TashJGirl

As kids, we look forward to birthdays with great anticipation.  As adults, many of us dread turning another year older.  Usually, I dread my birthday and it’s not because I wish for the alternative.

Last year, my birthday was really hard on me. Not because I am now in a different age bracket or started a new decade of my life.  It was hard because I thought I’d be much farther along in life than I am.  I just naturally assumed that by a certain age, my life would look a certain way.  Well, it doesn’t.    I feel like I’m “behind” where I should be, and before you ask who determines the “where should you be” – I determine that.

Another reason I dread my birthday is I don’t really want to celebrate it.  I want to celebrate achievement.  Thank God we live in a time when reaching adulthood is no longer an achievement worth celebrating.  It’s not like I’m over 100,  though that would certainly be a number worth celebrating.  Thank God (and modern medicine, living conditions, and progress on too many fronts to mention) that my age is no longer considered “old age” or even close to it.

Now, when I say I don’t want to celebrate it, I mean *I* don’t want to make a big fuss about.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t want others to make a big fuss about it.  I know, I know, silly.  But true.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my birthday, and I do look forward to it, though no longer with the anticipation and excitement I had as a child.  Even something as small as getting a phone call from those who are important to me, makes the day great.

Does any of that make sense to anyone else?