Movies August 13, 2009
Posted by A in Entertainment, Life, Society.Tags: men, movie, Society
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I really don’t like going to the movie theater much. It has everything to do with rude people who answer their phone, text, eat noisily, or open up a scrunchy bag of snacks. I hate the little noises. But I figured that if I go to a late showing and on a week day, the chances of those things happening is greatly dimished. I love it when I’m right.
So today I went to see the new chick-flick, Julia and Julia. I liked it. It was just a very heart-warming, charming, almost nostaligia-inducing movie. Almost makes me want to go to Paris. Almost. I know, I’m crazy for not having Paris at the top of my list, but it’s not. And I even took French in high school with the sole purpose of going to France someday (though at the time, I thought “some day” would be the Junior year trip, which I didn’t participate in).
The other reason I really liked the movie is that it’s a rare gem where an American male who is white, a husband, is portrayed in a positive light. There were two such examples in the movie. Both husbands were depicted as loving and caring and really believing in their wives. They encouraged them when they needed it, they wiped the tears and listned when it was needed, they were there and they paid attention. How much of that was true to life I don’t know, but it was good to see a positive representation of a man.
What do I look for… June 30, 2009
Posted by A in Dating, Life, Relationships, Society.Tags: Dating, Life, men, Relationships
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I’ve been asked many times what I look for in a guy. First and foremost, I look for him to be a man, not just a “guy” or “boy”.
It really boils down to only a few things that I look for: the man has to be confident in himself; has to be a mensch, and has to have a great laugh/smile.
On the surface, this seems like it would be pretty easy for me to find a man who is of my religion, is confident, and has a great laugh. But then I have to explain what I mean by all those things.
First, to me confident doesn’t mean that the man is showing off in any way. If you’re truly confident, you don’t care what others think about you, but you are aware of what they think. Because you’re also not a social idiot, you are aware of social norms and know the time and place when it’s OK to deviate from them. Going to a formal wedding in shorts and a polo shirt is not a time or place to flaunt social norms, no matter how confident you are; it’s just plain rude. A confident man isn’t rude. Also, by confident, I mean quietly confident. Not brutish, rude, patronizing, demeaning, condescending or anything of the sort. Those demonstrate your lack of confidence, not the presence of it.
Secondly, what does it mean (to me) to be a mensch? It means that you are reliable, trustworthy, honest, honorable, polite, gentlemanly, respectful, you pull your own weight, you do the right thing, you do what needs to be done, you spend wisely, your friends respect you/ask for your advice, and you are someone I would be proud of. You are someone your kids should be proud of, someone they would look up to. This is one of the hardest things to find in today’s males; to me, this is what separates the boys/guys from men.
Notice that up to now, I haven’t mentioned appearance. I find confidence to be very sexy. But so is a great smile and a great laugh. It’s amazing to walk into a room and find a man with a great laugh telling a joke and laughing. The whole room is infected with laughter and everyone is happier. Of course, there’s a certain charisma/charm that goes with it. When was the last time you truly had a great laugh? Wouldn’t you like to laugh like that, to feel that light and alive more often? I know I do. As far as physical attributes, the man would have to be taller (and hopefully wider) than me. [Yes, I feel self-conscious if I think the guy is thinner than I am.] But finding someone taller than me hasn’t really been a problem in the past. It’s all the other things that are truly hard to find.
Of course, I could go on and on (maybe in another post) about what I’m looking for, but I think these are at the top of my list.
